No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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