guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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