I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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