ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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