I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
