If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
