Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
