and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
