Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
