Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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