i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
