I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
