dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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