the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
