It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
