im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
