You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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