Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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