You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
