I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
