You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Are these your boobs on my camera?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
