That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
