Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
