last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
