he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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