just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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