Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize