One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
