My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
