Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
