spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
