They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
And then my night got REAL pukey
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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