O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
