You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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