Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
