oh god the rape fog is back!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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