talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
