i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
