another moral hangover. fuck.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
