Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
