you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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