yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
