Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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