I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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