dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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