Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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