party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
