Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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