I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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