Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Randomize
