i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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