Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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